My life has been full of little miracles
Each day may have its small obstacles
And I smile knowing I am thankful for the day
And any struggles that might come my way

Thankful for the chance to make mistakes and grow
And learn more than I think I know
Thankful for the family, friends, doctors, nurses and team
Knowledge, love and kindness that make my heart beam.

I was given time to be
A wife, a mom, a provider,
A chance to see
What it’s like to hold the hands of patients just like me
To share my story of hope each day
Things have come full circle or so they say
We all learn from each other in our own way.

Fifteen years cancer free
Brings back memories of when they diagnosed me.
There is no way to forget
The bargaining with god and the universe
Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst.

There were times I couldn’t see my inner light
I was numb and didn’t have enough to fight
It all seems a few lifetimes ago
There was so much I didn’t know.

I still remember sitting on the bathroom floor
The unstoppable nausea where you throw everything up and more
My family waited by the door
They wanted to help, to take it all away

When I said leave me alone
They would stay.
I didn’t want them to see my tears
I wanted to be strong but I was full of fears
I wanted space but needed care
They were my voice, my advocates
They made sure I kept them near.

 I still remember waking up to hair all over the bed
Trying to figure out what to do with a bald head
Wearing a wig when I didn’t want anyone to know
Being natural when strength was what I wanted to show
Still trying to spend time with friends
Pretending I didn’t care
Trying to ignore when they would stare.

I still remember the overpowering exhaustion
That would come after each round of radiation
The silent room with white walls and endless space
The cold metal table that was like no other place.

And if you have ever been in the hospital for weeks
You know how easily sanity leaks.
Stuck in one room day and night
I walked the halls holding my IV pole tight
Keeping my strength was a fight
Especially once I lost my appetite
There was this feeling that I was swallowing glass
Losing weight and praying the symptoms would pass
Having to get IV nutrition
That was my hardest admission

Then comes discharge home
Excitement mixed with the fear of being alone
The longing to recover
No more nurses or doctors over to hover
But all the strength that it takes to go up one step felt too hard
The smells, sounds, triggers that no one discusses leave us scarred
Still needing someone to help me
Trying my best to just be
In the moment, one breath at a time
Then one foot in front of the other
Then day by day, month by month to a healthy recovery.

 Fifteen years cancer free
Sometimes I feel guilty
Not knowing why I am so lucky.
When this experience becomes part of your story
You are humbled by an unwanted glory
Earning the title survivor
Not certain you are a believer
It’s easy to get discouraged
When your story is challenged
Thinking of the what if’s brings back fear
So many unknowns in this life we hold dear
It’s hard to have hope in times like these
Keep persevering to be free of disease.

When you feel you might not survive
Don’t give up hope because
Fifteen years later you might thrive.

So whether you are in the start of your fight
Or still struggling to find your light
Remember that tomorrow is another day
We cannot always see the gifts that will come our way
Every struggle, every problem, every mistake,
Every miracle, every chance to live and learn, every day awake
Has led to a blessed future I would have never dreamt
Fifteen years ago when I wasn’t sure what hope really meant
This is why fifteen years cancer free
means the world to me.

The post Fifteen Years Cancer Free appeared first on Cancer Hope Network.

Today, Christmas Day, we don’t worry about schedule! All is good! No hassles today! It’s Christmas!
People are smiling, happy; more giving in every sense of the term. They’re buying gifts for family and friends, putting money in the Salvation Army kettle and sending in year-end contributions to their favorite causes. People are a little more patient. The feeling of giving, of being generous and kind is all around us.
On Christmas Day everybody is focused on being nice because it is such a special day – it’s hugs all around and everyone is feeling good. So I ask the question, why can’t it be Christmas every day?  Why can’t people feel that way, act that way, every day? Why don’t we?

Imagine if we woke up each morning and behaved as though it were the “most wonderful time of the year.”  If every day we thought about how nice we could be and how blessed we all are – if the gifts we bestowed were as simple but as precious as a kind word, a sincere compliment, an expression of support or encouragement.

That magic begins with our attitudes.

Frame of mind clearly shades an event, positively or negatively. How many times have we seen ourselves react to an extreme, either way, and then recognize that our reaction was tainted by our frame of mind at the time? You’ve had a tough day at home, or at school, or at the office, and at dinner you get the 17^th telemarketing begathon phone call of the week and you slam the phone down with expletives. Yet on a better day, maybe you say, sure and donate $25.

Attitude is more than just, “is the glass half full or half empty?” It’s starting the day with a basic belief that it’s going to be a nice day, a good day, and if problems arise, I’ll deal with them, and no matter what it takes, I’ll find a way. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I’m happier. I guess I made up my mind to be that way.”
Bringing a positive and confident approach to life is a choice of attitude. A difficult choice to recognize sometimes, but critical because it becomes the lens through which we look at everything we experience.

Attitude is not only a positive approach to daily life, but it also includes how we deal with the bumps along the road. I wonder sometimes if we are fair to ourselves. Did you ever notice how many people get depressed or upset for a while about something bad that happens, and yet, when something good happens they smile for only about three minutes? There ought to be a life rule that demands equal recognition time for good and bad. And in fact, why shouldn’t it require we spend more time focused on the good than the bad?

Once our attitudes are right, it’s time to take action.

Being nice to others is so much more than generosity. It is caring, it is being supportive of others, it is lifting one’s spirits when they are down, it is reaching out when you haven’t talked in a while, it is calling someone when they are sick or troubled, it is remembering someone on their birthday, or on a sad day. And very importantly, when talking with someone, it is about truly listening.

So often we converse with people but how hard do we actually “listen?”  How often do we share what we want to say and then kind of tune out when the other person speaks.  Science tells us that we only retain about 25% of what we hear – so focus is critical.

It’s not easy. We live in a world of technology that creates so many distractions. People have their smart phones, their earphones, portable music everywhere – not just the home, the backyard, the car, but now even on the golf cart. How many times have you walked into a restaurant and seen a group of friends or a family having dinner and they’re all just sitting there playing with their cell phones? Or folks crossing the street so busy on their cell phone that they don’t see the traffic or other pedestrians. And when our television DVR’s allow us to pause anything, back it up and replay what we just missed, is it any wonder people don’t always pay attention?

When you spend time with a friend, give them the courtesy, the care, the priority of your attention – listen.

So my point is a fairly simple and straightforward one – that comes from having a simple mind!  Some days we just decide that we’re going to be extra-special-nice to others. Whether that’s Christmas or someone’s birthday or Mother’s Day –  we know that on that day we are going to make it extra special for others.

We can let the joy, the thanks, the smile, the kindness, the patience, the caring, come through every day.
My challenge, my suggestion, my inspirational thought for you – one day this week, when you are going to bed, tell yourself that tomorrow you’re going to pretend that it’s Christmas. You don’t have to tell anyone, just have that thought in your head the next day. And remind yourself of that multiple times during the day. That night reflect on the day and see how you feel.

I believe you will have a great day and that others around you will as well.
Merry Everyday!

Cancer Hope Network is nondenominational and nonpartisan. We’re proud to serve clients from diverse backgrounds with a wide variety of beliefs.

Wally Parker is past president of Cancer Hope Network’s Board of Trustees and a longtime member of the First Congregational Church of Westfield who occasionally has the opportunity to deliver the sermon. Today, we’re delighted to share a condensed version of a sermon he recently gave. We hope the message of hope and kindness resonates with you as it did with us! 

The post Christmas in July appeared first on Cancer Hope Network.