The gift of caregiving 

Cancer caregiving is a powerful gift, an opportunity to serve a loved one facing one of life’s great challenges. It’s inspiring and hopeful to help a loved one through the storm of cancer. Navigating appointments and making sure medications are taken on time and your support community is informed can be empowering (You’re doing something that’s tangible and helpful!). But it can also be terrifying (What if my loved one dies?) and lonely (I’m keeping a brave face because I don’t want my loved one to know how worried I am.) Caring for a loved one who’s been diagnosed with cancer can also be emotionally draining and professionally challenging (missing work! maintaining health insurance!). 

Find organizations that provide resources for cancer patients and their loved ones.

The challenges of cancer caregiving 

In the best of circumstances, cancer caregiving is isolating and scary, an emotion packed journey. But cancer caregiving doesn’t come to the best of circumstances. It is indiscriminate in who or when it hits. (WATCH: Caring for the Caregiver: Seeking Support Through Cancer Hope Network) 

Life doesn’t magically become perfect when the doctor gives a diagnosis and longstanding family dynamics aren’t always smoothed with the addition of heartache. No matter how well meant, compliments and encouragement (“You’re so strong.” “They’re so lucky to have you.”) can’t keep your eyes open when you’re fighting exhaustion after your loved one had a rough night due to side effects.  

Request a free & confidential caregiver support match.

Cancer caregivers sometimes fight and care in quick succession. CHN Support Volunteer Alyssa had just finished her own treatment for head and neck cancer when both parents were diagnosed with two different cancers. Caregiver volunteer Kaci supported her husband through his four-year fight with glioblastoma. Two months after his death, as her three small children began recovering, her mother who was diagnosed with breast cancer.  

CHN’s peer mentors understand those competing emotions and contrasting realities. They are here to listen. They’re here to provide guidance, resources, and hope. They will remind you that while this may be your first time serving as a cancer caregiver, you are not the first. (Meet Pat, a caregiver helping others care for themselves.) 

 (Learn more about serving as a cancer caregiver mentor)

How caregiver volunteers can help 

Serving as a peer mentor with Cancer Hope Network is a convenient, meaningful way to give back. For caregivers living with immunocompromised survivors, the fact that training happens online and matches are made by telephone make it an ideal virtual volunteer opportunity.  

Support Volunteers help fellow caregivers learn the new language of oncology and deal with the wide range of emotions their loved one is feeling (READ: Reasons Behind the Rage from our community of survivors and caregivers). 

Volunteers, along with our Programs Team, can help new caregivers find help and resources  (CanCare offers social worker led case managment, Cancer Support Community offers tips for getting started as a caregiver, the American Cancer Society’s Caregiver Resource Guide includes a wide variety of resources – including information on respite care) 

More than anything, Cancer Hope Network mentor volunteers are great listeners. They’ll help navigate the challenges of caregiving (for many folks, life before cancer didn’t involve quite so many ports or drains, an evolving number of prescriptions or quite so much puke) and provide the calm confidence of only a seasoned caregiver can.  

Call 877-HOPENET (877.467.3638) to connect with a caregiver volunteer, or to start the process to become a volunteer.

1. AARP, National Alliance for Caregiving. (2020). 2020 report caregiving in the U.S. caregiving.org. Retrieved 2022, from https://www.caregiving.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/AARP1316_ExecSum_CaregivingintheUS_508.pdf  

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In a world that celebrates the most romanticized of loves – with chocolates and flowers and the occasional unrealistic expectation – we’re taking a look at the realities faced by caregivers and the patients they love.

“Nothing prepares you for these kinds of situations. There’s no dress rehearsal,” says Rodney, a Support Volunteer who cared for his wife Vera during her fight with metastasizing lung cancer.

Caregivers like Rodney aren’t alone. An estimated 1.8 million patients are diagnosed with cancer each year and for many of those patients, the care provided by their medical team is supplemented by unpaid caregivers. The 2015 National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP Study Report estimates 7% of the general population is a family caregiver of a loved one with cancer.

For caregivers, the struggle to balance hope and love with fear, financial stress, physical exhaustion and guilt can be confusing and draining. That’s where CHN Support Volunteers can help. They’ve been on this journey – and understand.

Ann, who cared for her husband after his stroke and through his battle with bladder cancer while fighting multiple bouts of cancer herself vividly recalls leaving her house to cry in her car. Today, she encourages caregivers to “Take one day at a time. Don’t think ahead, because it’s overwhelming. Don’t get too caught up in thinking ahead and focusing on oh, I can’t this and that. They’re coming out with new research, new information and new drugs every day – don’t lose faith.”

Cyndie, married to her husband for more than 30 years, was a patient first and then a caregiver. She was the mother of small children when she was diagnosed with lymphoma. “No matter how badly I felt or how ugly I felt, he was there to hug me,” she recalls of her time going through 35 rounds of radiation and six months of chemotherapy. “Be spontaneous when you can. You don’t have to plan for things. A lot of the best laid plans fall apart. That’s when life is fun.”

Joe, whose wife and community of friends supported him through esophageal cancer more than 20 years ago is deeply appreciative of the practical love he received. “Everyone chipped in, taking me to treatment, sitting by my side,” he remembers gratefully. His reminder to patients is simple “Support is very important – but remember that your caregiver and family is going through something too. It may not be what you’re going through (as the patient), but everyone is suffering.”

Linda, a colon and breast cancer survivor who cared for her husband when he was diagnosed with brain cancer remembers the friends who jumped in to help. “It’s not in my nature to ask for help. That’s not me. My neighbors and friends rose to the occasion…..They all wanted to do something, I never had to ask.” She encourages others to do the same today, helping out where needed, even before being asked.

Hugo, whose wife has been receiving palliative care for her metastasized breast cancer since 2011, recognizes each caregiver – and even each day – may be different. “If you feel compelled to make the call, make the call (to Cancer Hope Network). It’s not permanent – today, you may feel like talking, in a few days that may change. There’s not a right or wrong answer, it’s what works you.”

To connect with a caregiver or survivor who understands, call 877-HOPENET (877.467.3638) or click HERE.

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